6,416 Days

That's how many days ago I quit smoking.

January 15, 2003 to be exact.

Today is not an anniversary.  I am writing about this not to celebrate but to affirm.

I just had my first craving for a cigarette in years.  Admittedly it was a soft, fleeting craving but still.

If you don't smoke, don't ever start. 

I've done many regrettable things and made more than a few stupid choices in my life but starting smoking is the only one I would be willing to risk my current existence over.  If I could time travel and change one thing in my past, starting to smoke would be the one.  Even if it meant that my life might turn out very different and the person I am now would cease to exist and be replaced by a different version of me.

If you smoke, please find a way to quit.  Get help, chew the gum, slap on the patch, whatever it takes.  Find your motivation and quit.  Your motivation is key, probably more than any other factor in the quitting equation.  Find it. 

If you fail, quit again.  This is my fourth quit since I started smoking at 15.  First for about a year, then again for about 6 months and once for all of 10 days.  Finally, on the fourth try I got it right.

I've done a lot of things I am happy to pat myself on the back for, but quitting smoking is one I'm pretty proud of.  It was not easy but it's something I've never regretted even for a single moment.  Cravings I can deal with, when necessary.  I am one of the lucky ones who doesn't get them often, but I remember the early days and know how damned difficult it can be to get through a bad one.  Worth the fight, every time.

6,416 days without a cigarette.

Tomorrow will be 6,417. 

Fuckin' things won't win.  Never again.