January 1, 2016.
The day after I had the mad thought to "watch everything I own" on DVD.
Watching television on New Year's Eve, my eyes fell on a DVD in my collection that I could not honestly recall ever watching. In order to complete various elements of my collection, I occasionally will purchase a DVD of a movie or show that I'm really not all that interested in beyond filling the gap in that collection. In the DC Comics collection, for instance, there are several obscure titles that were made as serials back in the 1940s that I'm really not a fan of. Marvel comics has a similar stable of crappy made-for-tv stuff from the 1970s thru the 90s. I once bought a set of Zorro movies from the 1940s that I paid next to nothing for and never opened until that part of my collection fell into rotation late last year.
You get the idea.
It never seemed like a good idea to buy movies for a collection back in the days of VHS, simply because the technology was prone to random damage either by mishandling or bad luck. When DVD came along, it promised to be more bullet proof, making buying a favourite film more practical. I vividly recall the retail frenzy when the Indiana Jones box set hit the market, an event that started many folks on the road to collecting a personal library of film. At the time, I think I still only owned a single DVD and hadn't really considered owning a true collection. Oh, how times changed.
That first DVD I mentioned was a copy of Russell Crowe's sword's and sandals epic, Gladiator. At the time, I didn't make enough money to afford a cable connection, so my television was hooked up to an ancient VCR and my spiffy, painfully expensive DVD player. Even with only one movie available to play on it, the DVD player soon became my go to by virtue of quality and convenience, with my VCR slowly but surely falling into disuse. I watched that one DVD literally dozens, perhaps even hundreds of times until my finances finally allowed me to hook up cable. Even then, I still occasionally popped Gladiator on. It's a great film and unlike VHS tapes I had little fear of repeated viewings doing damage to the media. Once you've hand wound a VHS cassette after rescuing the tape from the ravenous maw of a player determined to consume it, you gain great appreciation for the more durable format of DVD.
As my effort to watch everything I own has progressed, about midway through I determined that I would save Gladiator for the very last DVD I would watch. Obviously I have watched it before but this project started with curiosity about how long it would take to actually watch my collection and the further goal of making certain that I had actually watched each and every DVD I own, at least once.
As the years of this project passed, I recalled that I had decided to start my collection once DVD had become a widespread medium that looked to be a long term solution to the dual problem of physical space and durability for such a collection. I never bought many movies on VHS since they were so hard to store and were prone to degrade or be damaged over time. DVD seemed a perfect solution. Even DVD isn't perfect though. The commitment to watch each and every DVD has allowed me to discover the dozen or so disks that I owned that were unplayable and needed to be replaced. An unexpected side benefit I'm glad I have pursued.
In deciding to watch Gladiator last, I added a final element to the project. I planned to watch my oldest DVD last as a testament to that general durability that I perceived in the format, despite the tiny percentage of disks that have failed since purchase. A 20 year old DVD, one that has been played dozens and dozens of times all those years ago, sitting in it's case through 4 house moves, brought out occasionally to view over the last decade and a half, but sitting idle for a least the past 6 years. Try that with your VHS copy of the same film.
So at last, I move into that final section of my collection. Since Gladiator is to be the last film I watch, the last group of films and television to watch in my collection are my few "swords and sandals" DVDs. Included in this are the DVDs of a couple of versions of Spartacus. While there really aren't enough "Spartacus" films or shows to warrant a comparison article, I digress here to give you a quick review of what I do have.
I own a copy of the Kirk Douglas epic Spartacus film from the 1960s. While this 3 hour plus movie is very much worth watching, it suffers from a dated, very obvious puritanism. The hedonism of Rome and the raw brutality of ancient combat with sword and spear simply doesn't come through here and while the lack doesn't detract from the main story, it renders the whole film a little flat when viewed through 21st Century eyes. "I am Spartacus!" is still moving, though.
The Starz Spartacus series suffers from no such issues. If the Puritans ever come for our television shows, this one will be top of the list. The sex and violence levels make Game of Thrones look a Saturday morning cartoon by comparison. Edited for television, the 39 episodes of the three seasons and prequel series would likely amount to a single movie and a short one at that. This show is as gory as the bloodiest horror film you've ever seen, as full of casual (male, female, frontal, back, upside down, you name it) nudity, and not-so-casual sex as anything I have ever seen and the language constantly and consistently full of the kind of words that make certain heads explode.
Anyone who might be triggered or offended by graphic violence, realistic depictions of dismemberment, sexual violence or images of homosexuality should give this one a pass. Much like historical Rome, pretty much anything and anyone is fair game and Spartacus doesn't shy away from any of it. To give you an idea of what I mean, to film the various Roman orgy sequences, the producers hired a company that specializes in staging real orgies, told them to do whatever they wanted and then edited out the bits that were too much for Starz to broadcast. Try that in 1960s Hollywood.
The setting is a strikingly visceral pre-Christian Rome, the dialog intentionally delivered in an odd, stilted cadence to evoke people speaking in Latin. For all the Roman trappings, I was strongly reminded of another time and place as I re-watched the show, with the overall look and feel being the closest thing I've ever seen to a filmed version of the ferocity and passion of the Hyperborean world of Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian. In a testament to the show's quality, a decade after broadcast, the show's overall rating stands at 8.5 out of 10 over at IMDB. It's over-the-top-in-every-way glorious.
Okay, back to business.
Watching Gladiator today, I remember why I bought it in the first place. I saw it in the theatre and that 10 minute opening battle scene (the one that burnt down a real forest in the making) is STILL one of the greatest battle sequences ever filmed. This movie gets remembered for Russell Crowe speechifying and fighting in the arena and CGI tigers, but for me that first HUGE scene is what sold the movie.
It's a terrific movie that showcases some the most beautifully filmed fight sequences yet set to film. I still see it as Russell Crowe's only truly great movie and the top tier of Ridley Scott's body of work. The casting of Joaquin Phoenix in this film is note perfect. You hate him before he even opens his mouth. There's nothing here that doesn't work, no fat to trim even at 2 and a half hours. It's just a terrific movie and if my DVD copy ever does fail, I'll consider it money well spent to replace it. So far, 20+ years later and dozens upon dozens of viewings since purchase, no replacement is needed.
In the 6 years, 2 months and 12 days it has taken to complete this undertaking, what have I learned?
I'm tempted to again rant on about viewing queues and corporations
deciding from on high what I can and can't watch at any given time, but
if you've been paying attention my thoughts are known and unlike my
collection there's little need to revisit them. I held this opinion before I started this project and nothing has changed since then.
First and foremost, I have realized that my admittedly "grown beyond intention" collection is one of my few successful investments. If I lost my internet and cable connections tomorrow, I have literally years of television and movies on hand in a format that, barring the loss of electricity, I can access at any time. With very few exceptions, my entire collection played as well when viewed recently as when I purchased it and if my copy of Gladiator is anything to go by, it should continue to do so for many years to come.
Secondly, I've learned never again to add a piece to the collection without watching it at least once before it gets filed with its brethren. I don't want to have to do one of these projects again!
Thirdly, I've learned to be thankful for entertainment companies that have stuck with DVD. There are HUGE gaps in my collection, not from lack of purchase but from lack of release. Disney is the worst offender now that Star Wars and Marvel are under their umbrella. Pretty much every series they have created since about 2018 or so, whether Marvel (animated shows like Ultimate Spider-Man, Guardians of the Galaxy and live action shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or the Netflix family of Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist and Luke Cage) or Star Wars (The Mandalorian, the animated Resistance show, the Bad Batch) shows, have not been released in any physical media. Some things have been (bizarrely) released in Australia or Europe, but not in North America but for all but the most dedicated (guilty) collector that's of little help. It seems the House of Mouse is no longer the House that embraces collectors. Warner Brothers and the folks who make Star Trek are much better at servicing the physical media market and I am eternally grateful for that, for however much longer that consideration lasts...
Fourthly, I'm surprised by just how many things have never and now likely will never be released on DVD. Shows I love like Scrapheap Challenge (aka Junkyard Wars), the Fox 90s Marvel cartoons (Spider-Man, Hulk and Silver Surfer, only released in Europe, never here), a WHOLE bunch of parts of the Scooby-Doo (the 2nd season of Be Cool Scooby Doo, huge portions of several series) franchise and a lot more. What amazes me is that there's a flourishing, out in the open black market out there ready to fill the completion obsessed desires of folks like me that the big companies seem to be incapable or unwilling to compete with. Right now, as a single example among MANY, you can find a DVD of season 1 and 2 of The Mandalorian with a simple search at Amazon, despite the FACT that it has not been officially released by Disney. As DVD falls further and further out of favour it looks like the pirates will be the only source for collectors in the future and that's just shameful.
Finally, there is still a bright side, as so far they do still make them DVDs, so even though I've technically "watched everything I own" as of today, the collection continues to grow. There's a 2004 version of Spartacus I intend to pick up, the latest Spider-Man movie comes out in a month and in May the most recent spate of shorts from DC's Direct to DVD features will be collected on DVD along with a new short featuring Constantine. For the moment my only vice is still alive and demanding I keep up...
So in answer to Russell Crowe's famous question:
Yes, I am entertained!
6 years, 2 months, 12 days.
2262 days.
It's still not a round number but it is the answer to the question no one but I asked...
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