The Best Musketeers

I wasn't expecting to do another comparison article until I waded in to my Robin Hood DVD collection but here we are.

Alexander Dumas's The Three Musketeers is another one of those public domain properties that Hollywood seems to have in perpetual development.  Just as soon as one version fades from the public consciousness, another springs to life.  Each generation has a group of four sword wielding heroes to call their own, some better than others.

As always, there are a bunch of moving parts in the franchise and every component is important.  Sometimes it's a superb whole that winds up on screen but more often than not there's only one or two stand out bits in any given Three Musketeers adaptation.

The Villains.  I've said it before about superhero films and it holds true for any adventure tale.  Villains are FAR more important than heroes when it comes to casting great actors in the role.

Cardinal Richelieu.  It's tough to top Charleton Heston as Richelieu in the 1973 version.  He's a subtle and charming villain in one of the best versions of the tale ever to hit the screen.  I also really enjoy Tim Curry's more flamboyant Cardinal in the 1993 Disney version.  Sadly, a perfectly cast Vincent Price is underwhelming in the role of "Prime Minister" Richelieu in the 1948 version.

Rochefort.  The villainous sidekick.  Christopher Lee was the first to play Rochefort in an eye-patch and did such an excellent job with the role that every version of the character filmed since then has sported an eye-patch, despite there being no mention of an eye-patch in either the novel or any previous adaptation.

Milady Dewinter.  It's starting to look like the 1973 version of the story and its sequel has all the best of the best.  It's not perfect, but it certainly has one of the greatest acting ensembles to ever tackle the story and Faye Dunaway might just be the best of the lot.  Her Milady Dewinter is cold as ice, sexy as hell and probably the strongest female character in the whole history of the property.  It takes a truly stone cold actress to believably murder Rachel Welch's lovably clownish Constance and even though we don't see Dunaway do the deed, the moment has true impact on the shape of the narrative.

Special mention of Kim Cattrall's Justine De Winter in The Return of the Musketeers.  Fun, sexy and not bad with a sword.  

The Royals and their entourage.

The King.  King Louis rarely gets more than foppish handwringing scenes.  In the recent BBC series, The Musketeers, Ryan Gage brings a little depth to the character.  Since it's a series, we see the fleshing out the royal characters for pretty much the first time.

Queen Anne.  I'd nominate Angela Lansbury's Queen Anne as one of the best, but she never solves a single murder in the film.  Honestly, none of the women who've played the character have done much with the role, simply because they're not given much to work with.  In most versions, she spends most of her time worrying over stolen jewels and little else.  

Alexandra Dowling gets the most out of the character over three seasons of The Musketeers, methinks.

Constance.  While Tamla Karl, much like the actors playing the royals in The Muskteers, gets a good deal more to play with in her role as Constance in the recent BBC series, I have to give this one to Rachel Welch.  The novel and recent series frame Constance as intelligent and capable but Welch's lovably accident prone version just steals every scene.

Treville.  Hugo Speer also benefits from a greater screen presence thanks to the series format of The Musketeers and he does a great job as the captain of the Musketeers.  Speer's Treville offers strong leadership but the actor never overplays or undercuts the stars of the series.

Special mention to Billy Connolly's unnamed caddy in The Return of the Musketeers. He has about three lines as caddy to King Charles I but manages to steal the scene with ease.  One could argue he's the best thing in the whole damned film.

The Musketeers

Porthos.  The comedy relief of the titular Three, Porthos is usually my favourite Musketeer in most incarnations.  He drinks, fights, laughs and wenches with gusto.  If you are looking at pure comedic content, Oliver Platt in the 1993 version wins, hands down.  In the recent 3 seasons of The Musketeers, Howard Charles gives us the most rounded and deep portrayal of the character, often to great comedic effect.  Charles is also damned good at being the most intimidating of the Musketeers.  Still love Platt and his lusty, devil-may-care version of Porthos though.

Aramis.  The Lothario of the group, usually mixed with a large dollop of religious devotion.  Many good looking ladies men have played him but I have only one pick.  It might be juuuust a bit on the nose, but Charlie Sheen really makes you believe that women would simply drop at his feet with little more than a look and a smile.  Probably because for a lot of years, they actually did.

Athos.  The broody lynch pin upon which the original story turns.  Some great actors have played the role but if you're looking for pure commitment, nobody can beat Oliver Reed.  According to the trivia section of IMDB, Reed was so ferocious in the fight scenes that the stunt men would draw straws to see who had to fight with him.  The fact that he almost DIED in one scene, accidentally stabbed in the neck for reals during the fight scene at the water wheel, also counts in his favour.  If you watch the 1973 version's fights, they're less "fencing as elegant dance" and more "bar brawl with three foot knives" than most Musketeers productions and I have a feeling that squaring off with Oliver Reed in those days would have been terrifying.

D'Artagnan.  Michael York, Chris O'Donnell, etc. all do serviceable work as the young, brash upstart from the provinces but for me, thirty-five year old Gene Kelly is simply the best of the lot.  Sure, he's twice the age he should be to play D'Artagnan but in sheer athletic exuberance he outshines all the D'Artagnans before and after.  It's impossible not to marvel at his skills in every scene.  He might not be quite as skilled a fencer as someone like Basil Rathbone but his prowess as a dancer meant that every move was fluid and self-assured, delivered with a joyous smile and effortless grace. 

And finally, Planchet.  The long-suffering servant of D'Artagnan, Planchet often gets little screen time and less to say.  The only truly notable performance of the character is also the most tragic of true life tales.  In the 1973 Richard Lester directed The Three Musketeers, Roy Kinnear cut the cloth for most future versions of the character.  He was a plump comedic presence and his size made it difficult to find stunt men for him so he did all his own horse work in the film and the concurrently filmed sequel.

When The Return of the Musketeers filmed for its release in 1989, the film makers faced the same dilemma.  Sadly, during the filming of a horse stunt scene in September of 1988, Kinnear fell from his horse and broke his pelvis.  He died of a heart attack in hospital the next day.

While his death was certainly tragic, he easily reigns as the best version of the lovably comedic character.

Finally, there is the matter of the group as a whole.  One thing that's notable in the best versions of the Musketeers tale is the chemistry between the four men who play the main roles.  Get that wrong and the whole thing is doomed before D'Artagnan fights that first fateful duel.

It's hard to deny that the great quartet of Michael York, Oliver Reed, Richard Chamberlain and Frank Findlay top the list.  The Disney version with Chris O'Donnell, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt and Keifer Sutherland is probably the most fun and the four actors on the recent BBC series have the most deeply crafted version of the group, but the ensemble from the 1973 version simply ticks all the boxes, effortlessly.

It's also probably a good idea, when crafting a story about 17th Century France, to avoid adding flying airships (seriously, actual galleon style warships with blimps instead of sails...) to a tale that should be about swords, romance and y'know...muskets and Musketeers.  2011's The Three Musketeers, I'm looking at you.  Second worst version I have seen.

For the fight scenes it's hard to top the 1948 version with Gene Kelly.  Unlike the knock down, drag out brawls of the 1973 version, the Gene Kelly version flashes the steel with style and grace throughout the whole affair.  The Disney version from the 90s took a more fun and flashy approach, while the BBC series focused on a grittier, more realistic combat style.  The less said about the wire-fu (and pretty much the whole movie) of 2001's The Musketeer, the better.  Give me the style and panache of golden age fencing any day.

As always, these are just my opinions.  If you disagree, I'll meet you on the field of honour at noon.

And one.

And two.

Bring a long wooden box.